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I have spent the last four days:

Redesigning Lunasect.com (25 man-hours clocked, and just getting started)
Being sick
Watching my wife be sick
Studying
Working
Plotting and planning
Worrying about the role of Father in GOODNIGHT MOON.
More watching the wife be sick.
Sleeping on the couch.
Reading comics.
Reading philosophy and software development texts.
Writing the column and comic reviews.
Wishing Melissa a Happy Valentine’s Day.
Going to bed and praying for this achy feeling to pass.

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How much is too much?

Am I trying to do too many things with my life? Between the writing, film, music, computers, and whatever else I pick up and put down, am I splitting my attention too many ways?

It’s not like I have a whole lot else to do, of course…

A long night of nothing but laying on the couch, reading Ellis’ CITY OF SILENCE and Ryan & Lieber’s ME AND EDITH HEAD (great piece), and eating Chinese cuisine. And now this.

Blah.

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Reconstruction is fun.

Spent the better part of seven hours “remixing” (i.e., reconstructing) ZERO and GOODNIGHT SATELLITE today. Very little left of the original tracks, and a whole lot of new stuff in each one (now and forever known in my house as ABSOLUT ZERO and SATELLITE (drums ‘n’ space mix)). I’m very happy with both, though they need to be mixed at Daniel’s; the ProTools mixing just does’t work very well at all, for the most part.

Made the news today, as the local NBC affiliate interviewed me as a film critic on the release of COLLATERAL DAMAGE. Does this mean I’ve made it?

I doubt it.

First exam of the last semester today. If I didn’t ace it, I’ll be amazed.

Not amused, though.

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In honor of Daniel, a list — the first of many, building a memory tree. A resume of sorts. Tonight: music:

1987-89
Well Dressed Dead

1989-90(?)
Tequila Mockingbird

1991 (?)
The Haints (w/ Greg Martin and Stephanie Martin — no relation)
score for Dead Air

1993
Constantine and Strachan
Shades of Vertigo

1994
Changes?
Guitar, etc., on Barbie Williamson’s Harbinger

1995
Fischerelle (live guitarist; lead guitar on “I Believed You”)

1995-96
No More Heroes

1996
Daniel Farris’ Drown on WMSU compilation (bass, rhythm guitar)

1998-99
Frames Per Second

1999
Crimson Stain Mystery (w/ Caitlin Kiernan and Daniel Farris)

1999-2001
Full Moon Blanket
live sound engineer for Lunasect
score for Crewless Productions The Seven Year Switch

2001
Lunasect (live guitarist; acoustic guitar on “How to Disappear Completely” from the Radiohead tribute album)

2002
Lunasect – Points of Departure (“3:47 A.M. — The Stairwell”; guitar on “All I Am is a Lie”)

More to follow…

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Criticism is one of the most important things in an artist’s world, and one of the most painful. Perhaps this is telling of a more sweeping statement?

If you care about someone, and perhaps more succinctly, their ability to create (in whatever medium), it is important to tell the truth. This is not to say that everything that pops into your head should escape your lips; things can be left out. Tact should be exercised. But when an opinion is requested, it should be granted, no matter how unpleasing. Cover it in whatever sexy lingerie you wish, but make sure that the garters don’t cover the scars.

The truth hurts, but that makes it no less necessary.

One method of growth for a creator is to improve on weakness. Said weakness can be self-discovered, if one is fortunate enough to be objective; usually, it can only be pointed out by outsiders, preferably outsiders with inside knowledge. By ignoring deficits, by allowing others to continue unaware of deficits, a disservice is performed to the creator, the creation, and the audience at large.

Often, the best critics are the worst at receiving criticism.

Criticism, even in its most constructive form, is patently subjective, but the trick is in ignoring that long enough to give the harsh words their due attention.

It is frustrating as hell to have a work ripped to shreds by an outsider, no matter how experienced or informed. But I have to imagine that it would be even more frustrating to continue down a pointless path, only to find later that the journey could have been prevented miles back by a few simple words.

Nothing out of the ordinary today. School, work, comics, drinks, bed.

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Internal clock status: broken.

Once again, Mother Nature threatens snow and ice, the teasing bitch. Of course, there will be plenty of crystals piled up on the stairwell outside in the morning, but nothing that a little salt and a windshield scraper won’t fix. Damn it.

Returning to Montevallo is always strange. I expect a huge rush of nostalgia, and end up with a feeling of deja vu instead. This time was no different; aside from the shoot in the Mass Comm building (which I had never entered until tonight), it was like being home — if home is a place that you sometimes wish you had never been, that is.

The shoot went well. Chuck Hartsell is a frighteningly funny guy — the Michael Bolton gag that will end up in the movie is a well-done light moment, which I hear that the script badly needs. Not that there are no funny moments — the dialogue was written with some in mind — but it’s not a comedy. I can’t write that. What I write is black and gloom — and I do that well. I guess that it is good that Chance and Chuck are lightening it up a bit — it would make great press (bad in the long run, I’m sure) to have people killing themselves at showings.

“Feel Good Movie of the Year,” indeed.

Directing is not my cup of tea. But neither is giving up control of my script.

Argh.

Must remember to put Jeanie (?) in the credits. Thanks go to her for the hassle-free use of the studio. Nice girl.

I need some salt in my life.

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Three days to remember, and so little time in which to do it.

Saturday: uneventful. Overslept, showered, worked, joined up with Daniel for more sushi. Shitty service, decent food, horrible mix of soy and wasabe. No more back-to-back midnight sushis.

Sunday: slept horribly, visited parents, bought Dream Theater’s new disc and the new Nine Inch Nails DVD (still unwatched). Super Bowl party — in which the long-awaited fried chicken was consumed (damned fine — thanks, Wade), sleep was nearly had, and the game was more exciting than the commercials. People came, people went. James’ haircut actually looks respectable.

Today — a return to nothing. Work, school, blah.

The A+ certification should be a breeze. It’ll require a little studying, refreshing on networks and basic electronics, but nothing big. Aiming for beginning of March, if that’s feasible.

Tomorrow’s the first shooting for MOON. I said that last post. Tomorrow night, I’ll say something different. Or not.

Caitlin Kiernan and I should be getting together soon to do some music of some sort. That should be fun, and hopefully completely unexpected, results-wise. I’d like to have something weird and wicked come out of that.

And now, to use the rest of my energy on the new column. Or maybe on a humor piece. Or maybe nothing at all.

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Tired, but no longer hungry…

I should learn from today that messing with my internal schedule — not sleepwise, but eating, specifically — is a bad idea.

Met with Darin, Jessica, Jeff, and Shane from the Birmingham Weekly to discuss the local music special project. I think it is a great idea, one I am fully behind and proud to be a part of. Plenty of lead time to get it done right. Should turn out quite well, and hopefully compensation will be satisfactory to all involved. The website idea seems to be shot — they found someone that would work for trade. I’m leaning toward thinking that you get what you pay for, but that’s probably just sour grapes on my part.

Speaking of which… Lunasect as a trio sounds empty. I still think it’s a mistake — as I’ve now told all three members — to try and reproduce the lush textured album onstage. They need to decide what resources they will use, and arrange the music according to that. But is that sour grapes? I like to think that I’ve got a reasonable amount of objectivity to the situation, but who can say for sure?

A good night at Chang’s — good money, but tiring. I am worn out, though the midnight Sukura run did me some good. That was sushi as it should be — no wait for a table, quick sit and serve at the “bar”, in and out in under 45 minutes. With a stomach full of crab sticks, I add…

Tuesday night is on for the first shooting of MOON. Ed, Chance, Chuck and I will head to Montevallo — ah, the icky and not-so-icky memories — to film the TV section of the script. Bronnie seems excited about the idea — it’s flattering, that people are interested (much less excited) about my project.

Yay….

To sleep.

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