PHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I feel better now, thank you.

Everyone, please move along. Nothing to see here.

Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger’s Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills. In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940’s, it wasn’t until 1994 that Asperger Syndrome was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.

Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It’s important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of “improper parenting”.

By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naivet�, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like “little professors.” However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context.

Barbara L Kirby, found here

I wish I could remember what my mom said the other day about me and autism in the same sentence — something about early signs, or genetics, or something.

My behavior when in a depression phase tends to highlight my less social side (no terrible surprise to anyone with depression). It’s not so much that I don’t want to or can’t be social; rather, I have a real issue with eye contact (which is a day-to-day thing for me anyway, I’ve come to realize recently), I stop reading body language as well as normal, and I really don’t want to be touched.

None of this is odd, or ever struck me as so, until my mom mentioned something about autism and me the other day. I’ve also been doing too much reading about the condition recently for a screenplay I’m writing; anyone that thinks med students won’t become self-diagnosing while they’re in school (and slightly paranoid, at that) just needs to watch one.

Can’t wait until my brother goes through graduate school for his PsyD.

Up at 6:30.

Wearing slacks and a damn belt.

This is not me. This is not me. This is not me.

You try really hard to convince yourself that it’s all okay, but underneath it all, you know it’s not. What is right for 95% of the rest of the world is not what I’m supposed to be doing. For better or for worse, it’s just not the way I’m built, and I have the hardest time accepting that. Part of me knows this, part of me just wants to have all the things that my other friends have or want.

It feels like I’ve jumped the track again, riding parallel to where I should be. Or maybe I just never got back to the right track, ever since 1998.

Those of you that have to be around me today: I apologize in advance.

Even one as blackened and crispy as mine.

Just finished a redesign of the AIDS Alabama website. Everyone go look and see. More blog-like than ever before….

Sexy, no? Not like Bettie Page sexy — more like a clean and refined thing.

Speaking of which, they finally fixed my shower. Looks like I’ll be needing a new tub; the plumber whistled when he accessed the pipes. I think he said something about having never seen so much lead…. But that would explain the lovely Hi-Pro glow that’s been missing from my hair since I started showering at my girlfriend’s….

Woof.

By which I mean, of course, NOT the MTV show. No, rather — not Dan, but the adverbial conjunction (yes, I made that up) — the working world of grown-ups and responsible people. And back at UAB, no less, under the working title of Web Designer.

So all you people who didn’t use me these past eight months, see: I have credentials.

And a salary and benefits, too.

So, Kenn, how do you feel about this?

Well, me, I haven’t entirely decided yet. Still sorting my thoughts on it, but my initial reaction is very Peter Pan, Toys’R’Us kid. I don’t want to grow up anymore, and I’ve really enjoyed the past few months of succeeding (albeit just barely) on my own merits.

But on the flip, I can’t wait to have a steady income again. So there’s that. And maybe returning to the 8-5 world will reinstill some of my hunger for success outside of it; it has crossed my mind — just today, in fact — that perhaps I was growing a little complacent in the face of self-employment.

But either way, at the end of the day, I’ve still got me. And my X-Box. So all will be well, one way or another.

And at least I’ll have more money to spend on X-Box games. And drinking, for when I become a miserable and discontent alcoholic, bitter at a world that beat me down.

Heh.

“I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.”
– Mitch Hedberg