I wish I had learned earlier than I did that excitement and drama are not necessarily the same thing. I crave a life filled with excitement; I also cravea life empty and devoid of drama.

Fortunately, over the past few years, I’ve managed to avoid people who will bring drama to me. Mostly, I should say… And again mostly, I’ve managed to avoid behaviors on my part that will do the same. I’m learning to recognize the signs of people that crave Springer-esque moments, and trying to keep them at arm’s length (at worst).

There are certain behaviors that I just can’t understand, and those people tend to display them with utter disregard for the world around them. And I wonder if there’s something deeper that they are gaining from their actions, something more meaningful than creating their own little soap opera. There must be, right?

I know, I’m totally mistaken.

Perhaps it’s an issue of misery loving company. Or maybe excitement and drama are more equitable to some.

Yuck.

And then there’s the thought, crossing my mind at this moment, that the only true way to avoid this sort of thing is to move to a log cabin in the deep woods somewhere, and hermitize oneself. But that idea, while occasionally appealing, is overall not a part of what I want for myself.

The other answer is to live with no regrets and no secrets. God knows I’ve done enough stupid shit in my life that I probably should have kept quiet, but I didn’t. I learned a long time ago that actions have reactions (even reactions have reactions), that a butterfly in Nebraska is causing a hurricane in the Atlantic. And I’ve learned to take no action that I am not willing to deal with any reactions. Any secrets I have belong to me and me alone, because lips flap. Photographic evidence is already something I’m aware of.

Babbling. Rambling like no one’s bidness.

The solutions to life are found not from a distance but immersed in the heart of the question.

Or maybe by spending an equal time between the two?

There is no reset button in life. But perhaps the key to getting what you want is starting every day as if it were your first? Not ignoring the past or things you’ve hopefully learned, but opening yourself up to constant re-evaluation and redefinition. Change is not easy, but it is necessary and a fact of life; less resistance and a more fluid defense might be the key.

Locks and keys. What opens when you find the right one?

There’s a numerical basis underlying all of this, patterns in the ivy.