There’s a truth that funerals should be occasions to celebrate the lives of the deceased. There’s a greater importance, though, in celebrating the lives of those that are still here (or that got left behind, if you prefer). They are the ones that have to carry on, that have to adjust to lives with new holes that may never be filled.

One of my best friends has had to deal with more than his fair share of loss in the past year, and at an age that no one should have to face a single death, much less multiples. And while I grieve for those who have left us, and miss them, it is him that I feel the most for, as I watch him struggle to heal and move on and continue to do what the others cannot: live.

No-Man’s new CD Schoolyard Ghosts happened by coincidence to arrive in my mailbox today, and it couldn’t have been more fitting:

you survived another winter.
you survived where nothing grew.

the days felt cold and never changing,
so you just slept the whole way through.

when you think about the future,
it’s like the past, but hard and small.

an old idea you stole from someone.
a borrowed dream that’s born to fall.

—————————-

take a taxi through the snow
tell them you love them,
don’t let go.

through the tunnel moving slow,
tonight’s there’s nowhere
you won’t go.

you survived yourself.
you survived inside the lost world.
the dreams of love repeat.

subways sing with heated calls –
the g-string sirens walking tall.
summer fires turn winter dreams.
an old romantic’s hotshot schemes.

you survived yourself.
you survived inside the lost world.
the ghosts of harm retreat.

—————————-

sweet surrender to the night.
sweet surrender to the light.
the dreams of love repeat.

Celebrate the lives of those around you today, and celebrate your own life before there are holes of your own that you have to deal with.  And don’t forget to tell the people you love that you do, because every chance to do so might be your last. But don’t dwell on the inevitable; try instead to appreciate the finite.