“We will miss her dearly but she is in a much happier place now.“

Lilium Cruentus (Deus Nova)
On the Loss of Innocence
Music, lyric and arrangements by Daniel Gildenlöw

A Scene in Brown and Yellow:
At first I don’t know why your presence fills me with unease
Though I’ve missed you more than Life itself
I freeze
It’s like you’ve been lost and now you’re glad to see my face
But as you sit down my confusion turns to distress
Not knowing how to let you know that you are
Dead
(I wake up sweating)

They tell me you are better off
Where you are now
Well, I don’t care
They tell me that your pain is gone
Where you are now
Well, you left it here
See, I need to be strong
Need to be brave
I need to put faith in something
How could I live on
Not hoping we will meet
Again?

A Scene in White and Grey:
Under the icon’s weight the old thoughts lay
Under the cross so still and pale
The flowers usher the stale breath of Death away
And someone tries to sing
But the bird of song has lost its wings
Now it twitches
Rips the stitches of a chest where tears are torn
And where all loss begins

Life seems too small when Death takes its toll
I need something to blame for this pain

A Scene in Amber – Flawed:
And have you ever had that dream
Where one you love passes away?
And you wake up crying to a world
Where she’s long since gone
But you feel the pain
So close
As if she’d died today

But I need to be strong
I need to be brave
I need to put faith in something
How could I live on
Not hoping we will meet
Again
Some day?

Earth to Earth, Dust to Dust
A verse we know too well
Like a nursery rhyme
Just in reverse
‘Cause we are all the little tin man
With hearts like little tin cans
And as we line them down with tears
Over the years
They inevitably turn
To rust

Life seems too small when Death takes its toll
I need something to blame for this pain
I try, I fail, I fall, like anyone you know
I break, I bleed, like anyone you know

A Scene in Blood on White:
Where the linen’s changed just for tonight
And somehow we beat her to this sight
This ghostly room of Exit
That she enters by the flicker of candle light
And in her breast
A desert storm is taking form
An old thirst that can never be quenched or killed
Sweeps over the cold
Broken but thousandfold

I think that if I ever should go deaf, it might be the one thing that I would be incapable of recovering from. I’m realizing consciously how much I rely on music to express myself — not just other people’s words, but the music itself.  It can serve as a catalyst for physical release, a pillow when I’ve pushed myself too hard, a gateway into waking dreams.

Today, music is my blanket against the cold of the world and the best way I know to shine a light on memories of a departed friend.

Perhaps inside you
You were messed up like me
But to them you were whole and strong
A friend in their need
And what you left behind you
And what swept over me
Says that your life’s work
Rolls on and on
A piece of eternity
–Brian May, Just One Life