when i call you beautiful
what do you hear?

when i call you beautiful,
do you hear me talking about your surface
your exterior
your outer shell?
am i complimenting your smile
so radiant and infectious
your eyes
supernovae, like staring directly into the face of god
your porcelain skin
soft as cool satin breeze in summer
your fingers
electric soothing touch
your body
a shape that fits against mine, a tantalizing view?

do you think me shallow
(because I am, at times, on levels)
or is it flattering, deep praise that touches your core
(because it is, at times, on levels)

when i call you beautiful
do you understand that i am paying respect to
your choral voice
your joyous laugh
your humor, as dark and irreverent as my interior monologue
your intelligence and creativity
your determination and ambition
your empathy and concern and care for others
your endless well of literary and lyrical references
your country music
your memes
your competitive spirit
your night twitches and one-sided conversations
your everything i have yet to discover?

do you think me sappy and overly rose-visioned
(because i am, at times, on levels)
or do you know that i’m speaking from a place that strains for language
(because i am, most times, on most levels)

when i call you beautiful
do you see that i’m saying that i love you
that i love all these things about you and more
that i love the good and the bad
that every time i’m around you, i want to tell you all this
like teenagers studying for an exam
until you know it all by heart

it’s a catch-all statement, i know, and i’m not proud to admit it
(most times, on most levels)
and i should never hesitate to tell you any and all of this
but maybe that’s why these words
to explain what i mean
when i call you beautiful