a win is a win
sweeter still when rare
whether something small and silly
like a trivia game or a crossword
or more meaningful
like the perfect chord or choice of phrase
sometimes I wonder:
if you could see yourself through my eyes
hear your song through my ears
kiss yourself with my mouth
caress your cheek with my fingertips
crave your touch and kiss and words with my every breath…
sometimes I wonder:
would you believe me then?
would you believe the words I say and write?
that, I think, would be a victory of the highest order
(and it occurs to me that
I’ve showed more of myself to you
than any other person in my life)
if there were a timequake
and I was forced to relive the last decade
every choice that led to misery
every jagged drunken night alone and afraid
every regret and missed opportunity and loss
…well, there’s not even a debate, is there:
that I would relive every moment
ten times over if needed
just to have this time with you again
for all that is wrong with this timeline
the injustice and cruelty and unpredictable nonsense
I can’t imagine missing connecting with you
I think this mood ring fingernail polish is funny;
I wear it on your finger, with my half of our ring
and it changes red to black and back often
but my mood for you is constant and warm.
a win is a win
sweetest of all when unique
and unexpected