I always want to take off running when I make eye contact with approaching policemen. The goal, of course, is to run for the nearest building — public, private, whatever. Then, when approached (under extreme suspicion, presumably) by the police from whom you just fled, you calmly explain that, while in college, you were given a post-hypnotic suggestion that eye contact with authority figures gives you intense and brutal diarrhea.

I wonder if that would fly ,and how long it would take your friends to completely desert you?