“There is only today; tomorrow is an afterthought.”
-Lewis Black

Not a bad idea to live your days with this in mind.

A long time ago, I promised myself that I would shift my living to encapsulate a few things that had become important parts of my philosophy. I determined to live my life in such a way that I no longer have any regrets — no more spending my days wondering what if I had chosen differently, done this or not said that. I determined to discover as much about the world as I possibly could, including and often focusing on me. And I decided to live every day, every minute as though it might be my last; this one struck me as most important, and though I’m still walking a fine line, trying to find the balance of planning for tomorrow while not counting on it, I’ve come a long way.

I’ve seen a fair amount of death in my life. Never an immediate family member or very close friend, but many friends and acquaintances. My three grandparents (my paternal grandfather died well before I was born) passed away over a course of 18 years — my grandfather when I was thirteen, of Alzheimers; his wife, my maternal grandmother, when I was 28, also of Alzheimers; and my father’s mother most recently, in the summer or fall of 2003. Many friends and acquaintances — a few suicides in college, an overdose here and there, and two victims of ex-spousal homicide.

I’ve come to terms with death long ago. Again, who knows how much that will hold true when it’s my parent, or a sibling, or a girlfriend, but that’s a bridge to be burned some other time. That’s not the point of all this.

Knowing that you can go any day, any time, any place, for any reason, should really force you into an awareness of what’s important in your life, where your priorities should lie. And it does me — I try to be conscious of always resolving arguments as quickly as possible with those close to me. I try to always let people know how much they mean to me, and not just when the Jager has been flowing. I especially try to compliment people, whether I know them or not — it’s become too common to hear negative things, to say negative things, to point out the aspects of a person that you don’t like or aren’t impressed with. And — speaking only from perspective — I find that it can’t really make your day, to hear a compliment, whether on your hair, your natural good looks, your writing, your work ethic, whatever.

And yes, Bree’s right: I’m a sap, and cheesy, and incurably romantic. And that’s why. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, or even later today? I don’t, and rather than take chances and gamble, I’m willing to throw all my cards on the table and take the risk that I’ll be thought of as — well, whatever it is that I get called when my back is turned. If a musician plays so well that it actually grabs and holds my attention, I’m going to try to let them know after the show; why wouldn’t I do the same for a woman who is actually capable of capturing my attention?

What’s really funny about this to me is that I am perpetually accused of being withdrawn and not showing my feelings. Which comes largely from learning to live unmedicated with bipolar disorder, I’m sure, but from the inside looking out, I’m completely a heart-on-sleeve kinda guy; according to all but one, I’m too quiet and reserved for my own good.

Hey, if you’re that one, the one that says I don’t stop talking, maybe that might tell you something. Something impressive about yourself, eh?

Take a few minutes today, and drop an email, make a phone call, roll over — whatever. And compliment someone who means a lot to you, or tell them how much better your life is with them in it. And then do it again tomorrow — maybe with the same person, maybe with someone different. Try to do a little something like this every day, if only because there may not be another.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go burn some incense and tie-dye a Dead shirt.

Man, even joking about that makes me need a shower.