QUICKSAND

(for more information on the upcoming audio project, click on the QUICKSAND link, above)

Quicksand, per Google

Quicksand, per Google

In the mid-90s, I was doing a lot more of my own music.  With Daniel Farris (the Black Pill, a billion other projects), I recorded a lot of my songs — lyrics and music by me.  Some (read: most) of it, on reflection, is terrible, terrible, shit.  My age and (in)experience shows through in a lot of the recordings.

There are, however, a number of songs to which I have a strong attachment — enough to fill a playlist, at least.  Unfortunately, the mixes and playing and arrangements of each song are, to varying degrees, flawed. There’s only one song in the batch that doesn’t stand out like Gary Busey at a MENSA meeting, and even it doesn’t fit in as well as I would like.  Still, the words and notes all still hit a very real emotional resonance with me, and so I’ve decided to rework a batch, to be grouped under the umbrella of QUICKSAND.

Most all of the demos (which can be found here) are primarily me and Daniel, with a lot of drum machine.  Some of the arrangements need serious work, while others are largely okay outside of needing to be better recorded or mixed.

I plan on enlisting the help of a number of musicians that I’ve met over the past fifteen years in rerecording these songs, as well as — if I can somehow cobble together the money for it — getting input from a Well-Known Name or two in the world of music. Fortunately, I’ve got no set timeframe; this isn’t going to be a twenty year project filled with option anxiety, no Chinese Democracy, but I certainly will not rush this — both because I don’t have the unlimited pockets to fund the thing, and because I think a lack of patience and disciplined approach is a large source of the flaws in the demos.

Feel free to comment or add suggestions as I go — I’ll be approaching the ‘album’ track by track over the next month, gathering my thoughts and building my initial plan.  While I have no idea if this will eventually become a commercial project, I approach that thought with doubt; I will, however, in one form or another be making the final product available to the public. What’s the point of making art if not to be shared?

There can be only one (plus a Director’s Cut and a few sequels)

I read Pajiba daily — media criticism with a real sense of humor about the things that they go after — and this nostalgia review is the funniest thing I’ve enjoyed today:

00:28:25: The movie is supposedly full of little historical inaccuracies and bloopers. MacLeod, a damn near 500-year-old Scot orders a fine Scotch “on the rocks.” If you’ve been reading your Boozehound, you know that no self-respecting Scotsman would water down his liquor. You also know there’s no such thing as a Scotsman with self-respect.

Plus, it brought back a little longing to destroy the fond memories I have of the movie. Anyone old enough to remember the glory that is/was Highlander should read this. Anyone too young should go watch the movie, and then poke fun at me for officially having lost my mind.

Of these, Hope…

This past weekend, after the seasonal decorations had come down and the realization that vacation time was over, the impending return to normalcy was tempered for me with an abstract sensation of change.  It’s been a pleasant distraction, almost a feeling of snow in the air or the smell of coming autumn.

Of course, after the cover was pulled off of things at the end of ’08, any change would seem to be for the better.  Watching things bottom out (and I of all people am not blindly optimistic enough to think that we’ve seen the worst of things, but there’s hope), you get past the denial and the despair and start wondering how things will be once the human condition — at least, the American Condition — starts to correct its course.

In a few weeks’ time, Obama will be inaugurated and Bush II will step away from the helm of the country.  Two notable things: I think even a lot of right-leaning people, as hesitant as they may be about Obama, will be glad to see the latter, if not the former.  And second, I think blaming Bush for a lot of the problems is wrong, and will only lead to a continuation of the ills that we’ve all been experiencing over recent memory.

Bush is, I think, nothing worse than inept — certainly not a malignant presense (although I won’t argue that he has surrounded himself with people that even cancer won’t touch).  But whatever your opinion of the man and his regime, placing blame on any one group is dangerous.  Jim Kunstler put it well:

To me, GWB will remain the perfect representative of his time, place, and culture. During his years in Washington, America became a nation of clowns posturing in cowboy hats, bethinking ourselves righteous agents of Jesus in a Las Vegas of the spirit, where wishing was enough to get something for nothing, where “mistakes were made,” but everybody was excused from the consequences of bad choices. (via Clusterfuck Nation)

The place we find ourselves in the latter part of the 00s was decorated and designed by Bush, the Republican-controlled Congress, the religious right and the anti-science fiends, the Wall Street walkers and CEOs who don’t understand the importance of every penny to those less fortuante, the Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans, certainly. But it was also arranged and architected by the liberals, the hippies, the academics — every single one of us, if not for our actions then for our increasingly ho-hum tolerance of bad behavior on the parts of others.

It’s important to add to Kunstler’s statement, “everybody was excused from the consequences of bad choices,” that everyone appears to refuse blame for those choices.  Even when mistakes were made, it was someone else’s fault.  Without accepting this — that we’re all capable of and even prone to making bad choices that have tangible, real consequencees — then we’re doomed to a pattern of wash, rinse, repeat, and all that comes along with it.

In realms both political and financial (and the strange Venn region where the two are inseparable), things came to a head at the end of last year. I think that 2008 was not the Year of Horrible Things, but the Year When The Lies Became Too Big To Hide.  I also think that the curtain was yanked aside, that the dykes finally broke, because we’ve become, as a whole, too complacent to the displays of vice (or, at least, lack of virtue) around us everyday.  Much like those of us who’ve grown up on horror films, increasingly immune to the cheap scares and expensive anatomical FX, it’s seemingly harder and harder for the world at large to get angry and demand accountability.  When the price of gas rose above $4 a gallon, where was anything other than weary acceptance?  When the number of armed forces casualties (or civilian casualties, while we’re at it) surpassed the number killed on 9/11/2001, who other than the fringes were aware, much less upset? As the Bush administration continued to piss on the liberties of the American citizen, who but left-wing bloggers even really cared?

Perhaps it’s a national desensitization to such things.  Maybe it’s that we all got too tired of screaming to work up the energy anymore, or the mountains of accountability-free wrongdoers made us think that fighting back was pointless.  Maybe we just didn’t see where all these things were leading.  Regarding a memo about the President’s power to torture detainees, Dawn Johnsen, Obama’s incoming head of the Office of Legal Counsel, wrote:

Yes, we’ve seen much of it before. And yes, we are counting down the remaining months. But we must regain our ability to feel outrage whenever our government acts lawlessly and devises bogus constitutional arguments for outlandishly expansive presidential power. Otherwise, our own deep cynicism, about the possibility for a President and presidential lawyers to respect legal constraints, itself will threaten the rule of law–and not just for the remaining nine months of this administration, but for years and administrations to come. (via Salon)

With luck, the change that has been occupying my senses and distracting me from the mundane is one for the better (all of those who persist in labelling me a pessimist can take note; at worst, my undying hope for better things would make me a cynical, pragmatic optimist).  In order for that to be the case, though, I think that America needs to stop looking at Obama as hero, come to rescue us all from this mess in which we’ve been placed.  Instead, we need — desperately, I add — to view him as inspiration, as proof that you don’t have to accept your ‘given’ lot in life, as a pivot point around which to change our own practices and perspectives.  We need to learn to accept our part in creating problems, on both small and large scales.  We need to learn to accept the consequences, gracefully if not gratefully, and learn from our mistakes and missteps.  We need to be more forward thinking about probabilities and possibilities, while still enjoying the here and now.

If we don’t quit acting like children, the universe isn’t going to quit treating us as such.

2009: The Year in Preview

  • January 20th, 2009: hundreds of species are chased into extinction.  Carbon monoxide poisoning is determined to be the cause, precipated by the largest collective sigh of relief in the history of North America.
  • The current craze of adapting comic book franchises for film will officially jump the shark with the announcement of “Archie and Jughead: The Musical!”
  • Sadly, no cure will be found this year for Sarah Palin.
  • Five Points South will be shut down for another week in July for the addition of the forgotten “You Are Here” caption under the big red dot.
  • Auburn’s next coach? Craig T. Nelson.  Because hey — why not?
  • Propostion 8 will continue to generate controversy, but professional wrestling attains unprecendented levels of popularity. Irony ensues.
  • Small children will continue to fear Santa.  Parents will continue to practice cruel mall-visit photosessions in the name of completely unrelated Christian beliefs.
  • Heart disease will remain the number one killer in America, followed by cancer and club-hopping with NFL players.
  • Waterboarding is brought back into practice after it is determined that the replacement practice of prolonged exposure to GREY’S ANATOMY gives a new definition to “cruel and unusual”.
  • Sarkozy.  No prediction here.  Just say the name out loud. Chuckle.  Repeat.
  • Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Linsey Lohan, fearing irrelevancy, leak video of their passionate night of “experimentation.”  The verdict: still irrelevant. And a little skeevy. (I know, I know — I make a similar prediciton every year.  The ‘skeevy’ is a reference to my imagination.)
  • Most watched television of the year: Congressional hearing on the US Government’s bailout of its bailout funding.
  • Corrupt politicians and businessmen will finally be proven, en masse, to no longer be safely above the law.  There’s no joke here, and not really a prediction, as much as a sad, sad hope.
  • Fortune cookie: This will be your last meaningless fortune.  Ever.
  • Speaking of which, though, Langford will propose his own plea bargain to the federal government. He will agree to plead guilty to some of the lesser charges against him in return for a domed stadium and 2020 Olympic consideration.
  • Tim Tebow reveals the secret of his success and talent: clean living, regular exercise, a daily regimen of Aveda skin creams, and an apprenticeship to the Dark Lord of the Sith, Emporer Palpatine.
  • Controversy will erupt when an Arizona fetus kills its unborn twin in utero, and the fetus is convicted as an adult for its crime.  The fetus will later be acquitted on grounds that improper search warrants were used, rendering the planned defense of “too much Metallica played while the mother was pregnant” unnecessary.
  • Dick Cheney: still scary.
  • Tensions between Russian and Georgia escalate into full-blown war.  Georgia’s “Blackout” strategy fails once again.
  • The jobless rates will continue to rise through midyear.  On the bright side, high unemployment rates will lead to lower obesity rates.
  • Birmingham loses the prestigious “Most Dangerous City in America” title yet again, but in 2009, we’ll finally demand a recount.  And win.
  • This year’s hot reunion tour? Menudo.
  • The secret to Apple’s success is revealed to be trace amounts of crystal meth in every MacBook and iPod.

2008: The Year in Review

Things that happened this year:

  • Still married.  If you know me, you know that’s worth noting at the top of any year-end list.
  • Join the ranks of hipsters everywhere and bought an iPhone to match my 160GB iPod.  Also, swore to consider whether future purchases put me in league with hipsters everywhere before buying.
  • No major health scares; outside of one migraine, and the usual dental fun, my brutally stupid lifestyle kept my immune system heathily in practice.
  • Job changes (see also: 2007, 2006, 2005…) included a new position in corporate America, returning to working with my favorite people of all, computers; and a move backward, from bartending at Bailey’s (RIP) to barbacking at the Barking Kudu.  Come see me, point and stare.
  • Nothing major in the published creative efforts column this year.  The Exhibit(s) chug along as usual, and one of my old songs is background music in a film, and I had a few articles in Birmingham Weekly.  I’m going to attribute this to my nighttime hours being spent working instead of sitting in front of a medium.
  • Finally got back out of town to see my whole family for Christmas.  The niece is scary cute and even scarier smart; the nephew is off to a good start, as well.
  • Sold my first domain!  Utterly unexpected and unsolicited, insomniactive.com sold for way more than I ever would have thought.  Thus, the move after 5 years to here, and the purchase and non-implementation (as yet) of www.insomniactivity.com.
  • Started back into the soccer arena last winter, and played through the year.  It feels good to be back, especially when it hurts.  I’m also remembering how much felt natural, and how much I needed to work on basic skills.  Non-athletes probably shouldn’t rediscovered sports as they approach 40.

End the year smiling

Those wacky looney tunez:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfX08j69oZI]

Muckfuppet, yo!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc]

Speaking of those fucking muppets, you’ve probably already seen this.  Watch it over and over again anyway.  Because it makes your liver heal silently.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A]

It’s so irritating that you want to claw your ears out.  And yet you keep listening, and laughing so loudly that your coworkers think maybe you’ve finally gone over the edge for good.  And then Animal comes in, and you know it’s all over; your day just can’t get any better.  Until Statler and Waldorf show up…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDFgtFXfnv0]

Seriously, was there ever a better character than Beaker?

Bartending 101

The six and 1/2 hour drive to North Carolina (and then again back) this past week was a little quicker than I remember, because for once I remembered to load an audiobook onto my iPod.  For some reason, listening to spoken-word makes time pass a lot more quickly than music, particularly if the writing is engaging.  Lewis Black got me to and from Chicago in 2005; Tom Clancy (!) made my 2000 Baltimore trip a little more bearable (note to Jonas: the visit was great; the drive, not so much).

It got me thinking about bartending, listening this time to Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. And while there’s a lot of material in there that is really not at all applicable to the bar world — the rules about eating out, stories about his time at CIA and his inspirations for becoming a chef — there’s a lot that is.  As such, I think it shoudl be required reading, both for aspiring bartenders and grizzled veterans.

There’re a lot of different bar atmospheres out there, from corporate restaurant sports grilles to upscale martini- and cigar-specialists to hole-in-the-wall places like Bailey’s to the Cheers-esque bar where I am now.  To the average customer, these places have nothing in common outside of the sale of alcohol; they attract different crowds, serve different specialities, and contain entirely different worlds.  Behind the scenes, though, it’s all the same, and it was listening to a typical (if fictional) day-in-the-life segment from Bourdain’s book that I realized that.

No matter how my bar shapes my attitude on behavior on shift (and the ways I carried myself between Bailey’s and some of my corporate gigs in the past couldn’t have been more different), the job still involves the same things.  There’s inventory and ordering (degrees of detail may vary, but the routine doldrum at the core remains identical).  There’s talking to people you don’t like, dealing with drunks, hoping the regulars will come in to delay the impending onset of insanity by an hour or two.  There’s money — way more than the job deserves, sometimes, and other times way less.  There’s cleaning up the bathrooms or the blood in the entryway, dusting the bottles and ceiling fans, wondering why the owners haven’t fixed the lights yet, wishing the distributors would get your order right just once, haggling with bands about their payout.

Beyond all this, though — for better or for worse, depending on whether you view the list above as the nightmare behind the glamour that you had never considered, or really not so worse than any other average Tuesday night — is the group of people you work with, your coworkers and peers.  The boss (owner or manager) is obviously somewhat important, as they control the overall atmosphere of the working environment.  But it’s the other bartenders, the barbacks, the security guys and cocktail waitresses that will make the job worthwhile or not.

Much like Bourdain describes his kitchen crews, a given group of bartenders is a pirate gang, a military troop, a family.  If you find yourself working behind a bar where this isn’t true, things will fall apart.  I don’t care how talented your crew is; someone will go postal, or the bar will simply peter out.  If you’re a united group, though — and I don’t mean that you want to spend every minute of the rest of your lives together, or even that there’s not a single bad apple in the basket, because there’s always one — you’ll make money, have fun, and get through all the bullshit that is inherent to the selling and serving of alcohol. What made Bailey’s my favorite bar to date — behind and in front of — and what made it so hard to let go of at the end was the group of us.  Jason, Mariel, Daniel, me, Kristinn, Heath, Rick — it was a good mix, a rare grouping that worked well (enough) as a whole.

There are a lot of other things that should go into your choice of places to work (if you have such a choice, of course): clientele, ambience (including the bands that play in your live music club — if you think you hate Genre X of tunes now, wait until you have to listen to it at painful volumes six nights a week), opportunities to grow. But any and all of these things can and should fall second to whether or not the people behind the bar are your kind of folk or not.

In the meantime, find a copy of Kitchen Confidential (and while you’re at it, pick up his other books, including his wonderfully instructive cookbook, Anthony Bourdain’s “Les Halles” Cookbook: Classic Bistro Cooking or seek out an episode or twenty of No Reservations) and keep in mind that there’s a lot of parallel between the worlds of chef and bartender.  If you’re not in the business yet, it’ll help prepare you for some of what you’re eventually going to encounter; if you’re behind a bar, you’ll recognize a thing or two, and maybe even learn something useful.