“The Greeks didn’t write obituaries. They asked one question after a man died: ‘Did he have passion?'”
-Serendipity

There’s a section of ILLUSIONS by Richard Bach that talks about turning randomly to a page of a book, and finding the words that are written there. That’s the universe’s way of speaking to you.

“Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.”
-Desiderata

Do I believe in the idea of a soulmate, one fated person for another? Are there many fish in the sea, or do all the prior experiences act as preparation for the one? Is life predestined — does fate guide all? How do we avoid simply sitting back and waiting for fate to deliver us where we should be, if so?

And can be believe in fate without the believe in predestination?

“You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
-Desiderata

Sometimes I think that it is better to be at peace with life than to be happy. Trusting that things will work out as they should. Believing that everything will be the way that it will, and accepting that.

Perhaps that is my faith, the religion that I seek. Not a higher power that created us all in his image, or snakes that eat their tails, or Messiahs and fallen angels. Just that things are all right, in the unbiased view, from the non-perspective.

“So it goes.”
-Kurt Vonnegut

Thanks, Paul Gilbert, for making me think of this more than I already do.

When Kevin and Liesl got married last fall, I asked Kevin if he wanted to come to the Sidewalk Scramble after-party for a bit. Their plane for the honeymoon left late enough the next day, and he had been involved in the Scramble entry, so he had mentioned that it might be doable, post-wedding. And what he said — more specifically, the sincerity in his eyes that underlined the words — will stick with me forever.

“No – I think I just want to go home and be alone with my wife for a while.”

I have been loved a loot in my life. More than I deserve, certainly — more than any one person should ever be loved in one lifetime, possibly.

I have loved a lot. Without confining it, perhaps it might be described as shallow love, infatuation, obsession with an idea. “Was it love / or was it the idea of being in love?” (Thanks, David Gilmour)

What I dream of is feeling what Kevin felt, long after the roller coaster has stopped.

Alternately titled: Most Unlike a Blackberry Souffle

THE DOVES: new york (acoustic)
COLDPLAY: speed of sound
DAVID WEST: goodbye blue sky (from PICKIN’ ON PINK FLOYD: A BLUEGRASS TRIBUTE)
exit music (for a film) (from STRUNG ON ON OK COMPUTER: THE STRING QUARTET TRIBUTE TO RADIOHEAD)
XTC: your dictionary
EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL: good cop/bad cop
CRASH TEST DUMMIES: a worm’s life
SNAKE RIVER CONSPIRACY: how soon is now?
BUTCH WALKER: joan
HARVEY DANGER: problems and bigger ones
SUZANNE VEGA: queen and the soldier
CATHERINE WHEEL: delicious
JOSEPH ARTHUR: you are the dark
JEFF BUCKLEY: nightmares by the sea
EELS: restraining order blues
GOMEZ: tijuana lady
MASSIVE ATTACK: what your soul sings
TOM WAITS: the piano has been drinking (not me)

Burn it, build your own backstory, and hit the road in late afternoon. Feel like I feel. Thank me later.

Entertainment Weekly’s EW.com | Movie Review: Crash: “Role for role, the acting is superb, and the cinematography is strong, with a stylistic emphasis on blur and confusion interrupted by knife-carved incidents of prejudice and consequence (aurally stitched by Mark Isham’s anxious electronic score)”

Quite possibly one of the strongest movies that I’ve ever seen. Perhaps largely because this one came out of nowhere — there was no hype that I was aware of, and going in I had very little idea what the movie was about — but it completely and utterly exceded anything I had hoped for in a Saturday afternoon showing.

There was nothing wrong with this film. More importantly, the acting, editing, score, and cinematography — oh, man, the cinematography — were fucking BRILLIANT. Paul Haggis inspired me today, showing that a truly great film across all levels can still be made and find and audience.

Drive down the road from the theater toward the steakhouse, an old CD playing too loudly on the soon-to-be-replaced stereo. The sun is at the perfect place in the sky, behind me and to the left, not so low as to be in a mirror, casting a cool light over the late afternoon. Almost sunset, May, unseasonably cool, exactly how I wish for it, and I feel like I’m in another town, far away,

The movie was wonderful, a perfect beginning to my Saturday, a perfect extension of a beautiful Friday leading to a Sunday with potential. And this is the perfect moment, find the center and snapshot for later nostalgia.

Regarding the past few days and weeks and months; regarding the last thirty-odd years:

I am confused, and perplexed, and intrigued, and just as unsurprised to find that theories about the way the universe works have more evidence to substanitate them.

I am hopeful, perhaps too much so given past hopes and moments of excitement, that perhaps I was wrong about so many important things, important to me, not wrong as much as wrong to doubt.

I am in awe of the paths that the universe lays out, and how they cross.

I wonder if we find evidence to fit our theories, ignoring that which doesn’t — the theory in question being that the universe unfolds as it will, and that everything happens in its own time, for reason — or if I just question too much, if I am too skeptical for my own good. It’s difficult for me to take things at face value.

I was told last night that I am one of the smartest people that she’s knows, and that’s quite the compliment. It didn’t quite click last night, but this afternoon it really struck me. And it falls into place given another conversation snippet, regarding context. A statement that the sentiment of a compliment given is not necessarily equal to the sentiment of a compliment received, and from my perspective, it’s so important and relevant to consider the source of the compliment.

I am told that the greatest gift you can ever give a woman is the jealousy of her friends.

I believe in kindred spirits, and a right and just universe, and breaking promises of self, and that perspective defines good and bad.

“The people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect – simply a confession of failures.”

-Oscar Wilde

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sibling Nail Gun of Desirable Mindfulness.

Get yours.

Ces Marculiano is a brilliant cartoonist. His blog is great, his comics are funny, and he’s a really good guy married to a really great gal.

Go. Read. Laugh until you vomit.