I was asked not too long ago if I enjoyed being sad.

It’s a question that I’ve had posed more than a few times in my life. And the answer, generally speaking, is no, not particularly. I’m sure that there is some part of me that finds being engulfed in sorrow quite comforting; but that’s a world away from being happy when I’m sad. For the most part, I really dislike feeling down/sad/miserable… give it a name. I am sad a lot, but it doesn’t mean that I enjoy it; sometimes, though, when you suffer from depression, it’s just easier and almost cozy to just let yourself be sad.

Today, though…

It’s been a crazy day, mostly toothache related. Lots of pain, even through the medication. And due to a lack of sleep related to waking up every half-hour or so, my reactions to a lot of things in the office were a little overboard — not outwardly, but on the interior.

But the last part of the day was spent catching up with an old friend and fellow “freak among corporations,” (though I’m fairly certain she wouldn’t appreciate the title, it works) and knowing that I’ve got a good shot at making things work there. Money should be coming my way shortly. I’ve got a dentist appointment tomorrow to take care of this damnable shooting pain. Wednesday night I pick up Kevin and Liesl’s sectional sofa, which I’ve envied for a while. Life feels pretty good.

And I get home, and find the UNFAITHFUL soundtrack in my mailbox. It’s a wonderful gift, a thoughtful reminder of what was and what could have been. And I’m a little saddened by it.

But it’s a good sad, if anyone can relate. And I’m enjoying it, sitting on my roof, listening to the music, watching the world keep on keeping on, and feeling sad.

Thanks, darlin’. You know who you are.