Stockholm Spectator GroupBlog � Two down�: “Ulf Hjertstr�m, the sexagenarian Swede who survived a 67-day kidnapping ordeal in Baghdad, reportedly was paying professional bounty hunters a handsome fee to track down his erstwhile captors.”

That’s what my grandmother called ’em, even as she was shelling out massive amounts of cash to buy me my monthly titles.

Hi, my name is Kenn. I’m a nerd.

And I’ll kill you with a thought, no sweat.

Unless you die laughing from these relettered strips first.

I want to be a grown-up. That’s all; simplicity itself. When I grow up, I want to be a grown up.

I want to have my shit together, internally and externally.

I want to know what I want out of life. No more paradoxical desires — to be rich beyond belief but non-materialistic; to have faith in a higher power but remain open-minded; to be an adult with the heart and mind of a child.

I want to have decided long ago what I want to do with my life, what I would be happy doing for the span of my career.

I want to have practiced and practiced until I’m the best at what I do.

I want to have not screwed myself financially so young; and to have learned from having done so, and not repeated the error time and again.

I want to feel more stable across long spans of time.

I want to not be so aware that things could be worse. I want to not feel bad about wishing for better just because there are others so much worse off than myself.

I want to be able to step back, dissect and analyze my problems, and solve them. A success rate of 3 for 5 seems appropriate.

I want to be compensated for the work I do for other people. And I hope that I can fairly compensate people for what they provide me.

I want to never put the free in freelance. Or the lance either, for that matter.

…

Or, I want to be an astronaut.

Either one would be fine.