Seattle man dies after sex with horse – Peculiar Postings – MSNBC.com: “A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.

The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that �the manner of death was accidental … due to perforation of the colon,� a police spokesman said.”

At first, you think maybe the guy was just lonely, desparate for sexual contact… but then you see how it’s all backwards, and all you can think is, “Freak.”

“Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

�If you�re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,� Urquhart said.”

Totally surreal weekend. Loved every moment of it, with the possible exception of waking up today (when you sleep after nearly 48 hours of being awake, rising again SUCKS). Finished a freelance web programming job (a refreshing reminder of why I need to push myself back into business for me), won Best Cinematography (and got a tremendous reception) for the Scramble film, and had a Beach Party Weekend slumber party with two wonderful peoples.

Yes, peoples. I’m exhausted, and it’s my webspace to fill up with the words I choose.

Drinking is fun with the right people, as is playing darts (I had forgotten how unorthodox my throwing style is); that should be a more regular part of my life.

That, and making so much money that people blush in embarrassment for me.

Next up: HIDE AND CREEP on DVD this Tusday. Go rent twenty copies, and buy one for yourself, too.

Neely in shock at Team America… I think she was most impressed with boiling the world political scene down to dicks, pussies, and assholes. Or the puppets. I’m not entirely sure which was her thing…

Just got word from Catherine Pfitzer at Sidewalk that our film made the top 15 — we’re among the finalists. Everyone come to Alys Stephens tomorrow night and root us on — my team did a hell of job, and they deserve your applause.

And money. Yes. Lots of money.

Check back soon for more ads I wish I had placed — and a few that I just might place yet.

Zombie Infection Simulation: “Zombies are grey, move very slowly and change direction randomly and frequently unless they can see something moving in front of them, in which case they start walking towards it. After a while they get bored and wander randomly again.

If a zombie finds a human directly in front of it, it infects them; the human immediately joins the ranks of the undead.

Humans are pink and run five times as fast as zombies, occasionally changing direction at random. If they see a zombie directly in front of them, they turn around and panic.

Panicked humans are bright pink and run twice as fast as other humans. If a human sees another panicked human, it starts panicking as well. A panicked human who has seen nothing to panic about for a while will calm down again.”

Male and female voices affect brain differently: “Scientists at the University of Sheffield have explained the differences in the way the male brain interprets male and female voices, explaining why people who hallucinate and hear false voices almost always hear a man. It also sheds new light on the way the brain processes voices to produce an `auditory face� that allows people to determine aspects of someone�s physical appearance based solely on the way they sound.
“

Alton Brown.com � Rants & Raves!: “Dear Tom Cruise,

Your lack of belief in the existence of clinical depression tells me one thing: you didn�t spend $10. to see War Of The Worlds. If vitamins can possibly help me out of this spiraling funk, please let me know which ones. Dinos? Pebbles? Freds?

Please, I�m crying out for help.

Alton Brown”

“SCIENTISTS have been warned that their latest experiments may accidently produce monkeys with brains more human than animal.

In cutting-edge experiments, scientists have injected human brain cells into monkey fetuses to study the effects.

Critics argue that if these fetuses are allowed to develop into self-aware subjects, science will be thrown into an ethical nightmare.”

damn, dirty apes…

Open Letter to Kansas School Board: “…I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him….”